Autism Watch: 2007

Posts Tagged ‘flat

…and we just happened to end up here in the south.

Finally, it happened. We sold our house and closed escrow on 3/24. We had three days to pack it up and get outta Dodge. Gladly. We ended up at a KOA for a couple of days, ensuring our 53′ trailer full of way too many things was picked up by the transportation company hired to drive it out for us. (And at a significantly decreased cost over using a professional moving company, even with the cost of the trailer factored in we saved over $12k. And now we have storage for our belongings until our house is built.)

The drive went well. At the time, it was on/off boring, exhausting, exciting, interesting, tedious, and expensive. Our caravan consisted of our SUV pulling our 32′ travel trailer, otherwise known as the RV, driven by DH and navigated by our 15 yod, carrying the 14-year-old Husky. I followed behind in my sporty sports car, carrying the 90-pound service dog in the back seat (and I do mean the WHOLE back seat), the little Yorkshire Terrier on my lap, and BB in his handmade seatbelt covers to my right. Following me was my son in my husband’s car, with the backseat/floor full of cages for our guinea pig, turtle and bearded dragon. BB was usually carrying his DS, covered in his blue blankie because the sun made it hard for him to see the DS. We drove to the Grand Canyon right before sunset, and ended up in a comfortable KOA in Arizona, resting with a bottle of wine and homemade burritos. Ahhh, sounds nice for a long roadtrip, right?

Let’s see, what did I leave out. Oh yes, the truck inexplicably died at the top of the highest pass outside of Scottsdale, Arizona. Poof. No smoke, no sound, no power. Fifteen minutes later, we re-started, it worked, we drove. Leaving Gallup, New Mexico on Tuesday, a tire on the SUV went flat…in the midst of an hour-long delay due to a bad rockslide, where we ended up going 2-3mph. We made it to an offramp, where very nice Arizona transportation workers allowed us to change the tire on the onramp on the other side, as it was closed to traffic because too many special people were trying to utilize the ramps as shortcuts around the traffic. (Arizona, what a great idea you have! Other states, listen up…implement this practice! Stop the special people!!) Back to my story…we get back on the freeway, make it another hour and we see the SUV/RV start to fishtail. Scary stuff. My baby! My baby’s in there! (DH tells me later “I see where I stand. The dog wants to know why you didn’t worry about him either.”) He gets it safely to the side of the road, where we learn the back left tire had shredded, and the rim was shot. Because of the aforementioned flat tire, being in the midst of nowhere, and being stuck in a one-hour delay for the rockslide, we’d not been able to reach a service station to repair the spare. So we had to buckle down and call AAA.

I will spare you all the tired eyeballs that will result from reading that saga, but suffice it to say, AAA stunk. Big time. After an hour-plus alongside a very busy freeway in high winds — three cars, a disabled vehicle, a windblown RV and an autistic child — the SUV was rescued…but ended up with it and DH (and the dog!) stuck on the other side of the freeway, 30 miles west of me, out of gas..then they couldn’t figure out how to get it started. Three hours later, me and the RV were rescued, but DH was still stranded..cold and hungry. Long story short, we were literally dropped by a rude towtruck company owner at another KOA, off-center and unable to open our slideout or use all our hookups, around 630pm. DH was still stuck until around 7pm, and he made it to our KOA spot around 800pm, four new tires and spare. AAA, still waiting on the reimbursements and admittance you won’t hold these two, ahem, “tows” on our record since I hardly think they qualify. We ended up backwards and a day behind, but oh the stories we can tell now! (How I renew our auto club membership will NOT  be a story I’ll be able to tell. Pay on our own sounds like a good plan.)

The rest of the trip was fairly uneventful. We made it to our destination on Saturday instead of Friday, but saw a lot of hilarious things and really could say it was a good time after all was said and done. We did have a few meltdowns, the scariest of which was at the Grand Canyon, but that was resolved after, hmmm, 40 minutes or so? People still stare at kids with meltdowns, even if they’re faced with literally one of the most gorgeous distractions in the world. Go figure. Kid in tantrum, Grand Canyon…hmmmm, I’d look at the Grand Canyon, but that’s just me.

BB’s doing really well. Settling in here has been easy, he’s surrounded by family and a relaxing environment. He’s got his dog, and a lot of room to run. Couldn’t ask for more.

I’ll update tomorrow on the school situation. Too much for one entry already!

When you have a child with autism, life is one big plan.

You plan what to cook for dinner. Keeping in mind the few items your child will eat (can’t touch certain textures, smells, tastes….) you also still have to find food the rest of the family will eat, too.

You plan what outfit your child will wear the next day. Be sure the tags are off the shirt and pants, the socks aren’t too tight, the zipper goes up easily, the shirt and pants are as soft as possible, remembering that long sleeves are good on hot days and rain boots work with shorts. (You also plan to ignore the people that stare at the unusual ensemble, and you plan to appreciate your child’s unique sense of style, comfort in his own skin, and lack of concern over what others think.)

You plan what to take on a car ride, and what path you’ll take. You plan entertainment for the trip, which for us means the Nintendo DS, a car charger, a charger for a wall outlet, the case with the games and the buddy battle cord. You plan adequate music or a movie. You plan timing to avoid sitting in traffic, yet avoiding sitting and waiting too long upon your arrival.

You plan your daily schedule. You plan to fit in adequate cuddle time when they wake up, textra time in case of a pre-breakfast meltdown, time to say goodbye at school so you’re there not too long and not too little, and you’re sure you’re back at school in time so he’s not walking too far to the car. You plan your errands so he doesn’t have to go with you unless it’s a short one, and you plan the more fun errands for when he has to go with you so he’s happy.

You plan your social events. Can he handle the crowd, the noise, the smells, the lighting, the speed, the activity..the list goes on.

You plan who you’ll socialize with. You plan only on those who are accepting, understanding, and flexible. (That comes before ‘fun.’)

In life, it seems like people are either planners, or not planners. We were already planners or maybe it would have been a rough adjustment. It’s a known deal that if you plan the future too much, you can miss the spontaneity of the present. So do we parents of special-needs children, miss the ‘now’ because we’re planning the future? How much of the future do we change because we’ve planned so much? Is there more to be said for winging it? Maybe so, but I still think the ‘now’ would be so overwhelmingly difficult in some situations, or many, without the planning. So where does that leave us?

This last week has been a whirlwind of planning. All new appliances in the house, on a last-minute notice, meant a lot of preparation. Then moving bedrooms around to give ds his own room was even more preparation. (And I’m sad to say, we’re still finishing that, and the piles of things left to put away in ds’s new room is bugging him, but we underestimated the time involved in moving the multitudes of stuff and sorting through it all, deciding what to keep and what to give away..or what to sell in the infamous garage sale.) We’re 90% done, but still planning on what to put where, and when to do it. With Thanksgiving in two days, and a camping trip, even more planning: what are we making? what ingredients do we need to buy? what clothes to pack in the RV?

And some things you just can’t prepare. Tonight, on our way home from ds’s behavioral therapy, thump-thump-thump while on the freeway in the carpool lane. Flat tire. Ds was so afraid, and he chose that moment to have a meltdown. The police officer who stopped to check on us was very nice, and immediately picked up on ds’s fear. Spare on, and we were off in under 15 minutes. It was entirely unplanned, but ds and I had a good talk, as we’re walking along the edge of the freeway in the dark, ds kicking rocks and me watching for snakes. We can’t plan everything, and sometimes the unplanned things pan out in a way you don’t expect. I think I’ll stick with planning, at least for now, but I did learn to appreciate the unexpected, and if you think about it, what’s more unexpected than an autism diagnosis.


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