Autism Watch: 2007

Is Santa Real? And Other Holiday Difficulties

Posted on: December 17, 2010

We’re a family that’s big on Christmas. BIG.  B I G. We put up two trees, garland, the family of Christmas teddy bears, wall hangings, nativity sets, candles, snow globes, and that’s all just inside. The outdoor of the house is covered in enough lights to mix us up with an airport, and we’ve got baked goods stocked up to last through New Year’s. Christmas carols play in the car and we have memorized the channel numbers of the Christmas music television radio station. We write lists of things to buy, things to make, and we take time off work to shop and prep. Christmas eve is a routine — read T’was the Night Before Christmas, the Nativity Story, and put out cookies. Then stay up late wrapping presents to surprise everyone with on Christmas morning. Christmas day is a relaxed event, everyone hanging out testing their gifts, snacking, eating, snacking, visiting with drop-in guests, and just having fun with everyone around. It’s not just a day, it’s an event, a whole month preparing for The Big Day, and being thankful for the reason for the day in the first place.

So, imagine our surprise when we move and find that not just sporadic homes put up decorations, but they ALL do. Nary a house can be seen without some type of Christmas decor. The little town we live in is covered with stars and lights and has an annual Christmas tree lighting ceremony. You hear “Merry Christmas,” not the ridiculous “Happy holidays!” But we’re also surprised with the lack of holiday parties outside of church. Our open house was a success, and the fact we put wine, aka alcohol, out on the counter didn’t seem to offend anyone. (Out here in the South, you either like alcohol, or you hate it. There are people who won’t enter a home if there’s alcohol present…for real.) Good thing we had that party though, it may be the only one we get to attend!

During the open house, BB hid in his room. The entire time. Getting him to come out and say hello was even hard. Luckily, people understood him and no one seemed put off. It’s our house, so we’d have taken care of that anyway, but it’s nice to not even have to worry about it. Doesn’t happen enough! Let’s count that holiday difficult #1. Parties.

Holiday difficulty #2: Santa Claus. BB still believes, but a lot of other kids his age don’t, and some of them have told BB about it. He’s questioned me numerous times, but seems quite content with my responses, though now and then he throws in a “But Santa’s you anyway, Mom.” I still think he believes though, or at least really, really wants to. A couple of families we’ve run into, the children don’t believe and the parents talk about it openly in front of BB. I’ve had to quickly say “Well, Santa still comes to our house..” so the parent gets a mental kick on the backside to watch what they say. (And I really want to just say “duh?” to them but I bite my tongue.)

Another holiday difficulty is illness. We’ll call it #3, #4, and #5. Not only does it mean that they can’t go to school and might therefore go over the allotted days of illness allowed by the school district, but when they are home, it’s an interesting time. It can throw them for a serious loop, and as a result, us, too. Not all cold meds are good for them, tylenol for fevers is not recommended, and they are even more demanding than usual…and you can’t help but cater to them, because they’re sick and soooo darn cute. Your Christmas baking gets put off, your Hallmark holiday movie gets paused, and your hot cocoa gets cold. Nothing else matters.

Holiday difficulty #6 is the chaos. There’s not necessarily a routine. Things pop up, people drop in (well, you hope they do at least…since this move, we’re still not as socially involved as we used to be but we have hopes) and you come up with things to do on the spur of the moment. Without time to prep BB, well, you know the drill. Imagine earlier this week when my younger daughter sang in a Christmas concert. BB was just starting to get sick, and we knew if we told him way in advance, he’d flip. So we chose for the Last Minute Flip. “WHAT??? WE’RE GOING WHERE??? WHEN??? NOW???” Yep, it was pretty. But the promise of the ability to play with his DSi while waiting for it to start, and subsequently through it, as we were front-row and it was loud, won out and he was fine. Yes, fine. Well, he did fuss halfway through but so did dh..the show was long, and I think the teacher somehow mistook the concert for a church service. (I’m sure there were some phonecalls post-concert, I’ll leave it at that.) He ended up making it the whole way. And so did dh!

And let’s not forget #7. I bet this is a favorite amongst many of you. All the holiday crap snacks available. Everywhere we look is a bowl of candy (red dye 41), a box of chocolates (caffeine), a candy cane (high-fructose corn syrup) and more of that red dye 41 as far as the eye can see. Christmas is the month of red, so you can’t leave it out. It’s in coffee, donuts, mashed potatoes..okay, maybe not the mashed potatoes but pretty much everything else. They mine as well just put the big jar of red dye 41 that I actually saw at the IGA out on the counter. Yum. Melatonin, you are blessed amongst over-the-counter supplements.

Autism brings on a lot of difficulties year-round, so I’m sure my list could be a lot longer, but I’m working on — after I get over this nasty sinus/cold I’ve been fighting the last three days — looking beyond the difficulties. It’s Christmas, and there’s a whole lot to be happy about.

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