Autism Watch: 2007


Posted on: July 30, 2010

BB’s loud. I’ve probably said this before, but he’s frequently loud. He’s loud when he’s happy and loud when he’s sad. But when he’s mad, he’s LOUD.

He yells. He yells when we knock on his door, when we ask him to take his eardrops for his ear infection, when I tell him to pick out his clothes for school, and when it’s time to come to dinner.
We’re working on it, but it’s so annoying. He escalates into a fit, and if we push it too far, he cycles into a sobbing mess. Then it’s ugly. Then everything we say goes by the wayside, he doesn’t hear us. He can’t hear us.

What do you do about yellers? How do you get them to realize it’s not socially acceptable to yell at people who don’t do what you want? And what about when it’s mainly your parents you yell at?

Then again, I should be glad he’s not yelling at anyone else, right? At least he has manners in public. (The nurse called me yesterday. His snap on his new jeans..thanks, Sean White and Target, they lasted us one wear..had broken and he wanted a “freaking belt.” Luckily, I had warned her that his language gets rude when he’s mad. She wasn’t offended. She is a sweetie, and I’m glad that our new school appreciates him for him instead of seeing “here comes the pest.” Thank you, thank you, and thank you.) But I am tired of being yelled at.
In fact, right now? I’m just tired.

2 Responses to "Please. STOP YELLING AT ME!"

I wish I knew. I’ve tried, “Please stop shouting.” Sometimes (rarely) it works. I’ve tried, “I can’t understand yelling words.” Sometimes works, sometimes doesn’t.

Sometimes, usually when he’s asking for something, Goldilocks swings the other way, hiding his face and mumbling softly. If I can’t hear him, I can’t say no. But if I can’t hear what he’s asking for, I dare not say yes. So I try, “I can’t hear mumbling.” He takes this to mean I’m offended he even asked for whatever it was. He either says, “Oh, okay,” and mumbles his request even more softly, or, “Never mind.” Then he starts escalating about how I “never let him have anything,” but continues refusing to let me hear what he’s asking for, for fear I’ll say no.

hey enjoyed your posts that I’ve just discovered.

Once upon a time I was a psych nurse working with both kids and adults and my major focus was on how to connect therapeutically despite the tumultuous emotions of my client that often involved yelling due to their intense emotional frustration brought on by anything from psychosis to ADHD to autism.

I wondered if one technique I used might be worth giving a go?

When kids or adults increased their volume I, would decrease mine. Not nastily but simply so this would require them to quieten to hear me. By consistently using this approach they would see that if they wanted a response they’d have to quieten down or they wouldn’t be able to hear me.

I would keep all my interactions very gentle and quiet, role-modelling the fact that all was well, and we would sort things out. This allowed them a sense of calm that they are not feeling for themselves.

Just an idea. Loved your blog…cheers Leesa

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