Autism Watch: 2007

If I Mess Up This School, I Can Switch, Right?

Posted on: July 20, 2010

After we moved, we considered moving BB to the closest school to the house. We thought the shorter drive would be good for him, and that he’d meet some kids in the neighborhood to play with. We brought it up to him, but talked about how I didn’t mind driving to the current school, how he already knew the routine and teachers, and how there was no real reason to change. Dh and I are also happy with the services, so we hoped BB wouldn’t want to change and we never really had to consider it further as he said, “No, that’s okay, I’ll stay where I’m at.”


Then he continued: “But if I mess up this school, I can go there, right?” He talked a bit further about switching schools but I was stuck on his first comment. No small child should have that worry. What pressure he’s put on himself!

After I absorbed his worry, coming up with the best response I was able that didn’t dismiss his worry but didn’t lead into it further was a bit hard but I think I managed. I hate that he has to have a back-up plan, as he’s not a bad kid. He’s just got autism.

“Just” autism. Doesn’t sound right, but he isn’t an unruly child causing problems. He just is afraid he’ll mess up socially, the kids won’t like him, and he’ll end up branded as the child no one plays with, just like our old school. I wish I could go back in time and face up to the parents who told their children to not play with him. I wish I’d swung my finger in the face of the neighbor who told people he was a problem. (I did face up to one of the neighbors, but it was a losing battle and I had to worry about my child instead of a narrow-minded adult’s problems.) He shouldn’t have to worry that people here won’t like him, but when you haven’t been invited to a birthday party in so long you can’t remember, it’s an important thing to a kid.

Don’t worry, BB. This school won’t turn out like the old one. If you do switch, it’ll be because of something other than social issues, Mom promises. And moms don’t break promises.

1 Response to "If I Mess Up This School, I Can Switch, Right?"

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now. Keep it up!
And according to this article, I totally agree with your opinion, but only this time! 🙂

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