Autism Watch: 2007

Mom, I Have No Friends!

Posted on: August 22, 2009

How do you teach your kid that yes, other kids are mean? How do you even begin to acknowledge to yourself that yes, other kids are meaner than you can imagine?

I know, in the scheme of things, focusing on this is weird. But, when it’s a daily issue in your house, a daily facet of your child’s autism, it’s got to be a focus. I can’t ignore it. I can’t teach my child how to work on social issues when the only opportunities he has are negative ones. I can’t tell him that yes, the world is basically good, just seek it out, when sometimes your own faith in people is shot.

Don’t assume this is our only problem — it’s just the one that I’m fired up about so much because lately, it’s worse than it used to be, through no fault of our own, and because it’s something that we can’t control. We can arrange BB’s schedule for optimal success, we can provide proper food for the best nutrition and chance that BB will eat it. We can work with his school to be sure his seat, his homework amount, and the environment, all work together for his own good. We can turn on our air and keep the house cool enough, cut his pancakes before putting on the syrup, and make sure his blanket is washed so it’s soft. But I can’t stop the neighbor kid from telling the only other kid in the neighborhood who Nasty Witch hasn’t gotten to, that they should hide from BB. That they should push him down and tease him. That it upsets him if they call him Stupid. I can’t stop my son from being upset when his friend pushes him down because the other kids says to, or from being hurt at bein called stupid. It’s the uncontrollable factors, the things that are caused by others peoples’ ignorance or refusal to even care, that can negate all the other good you’ve experienced. We adults can blow it off…mostly…but kids? Not so much.

So today,  BB’s friend from school a couple of years ago is over here to play with him. We invited him over and we are so glad he was available and wanted to come. I’ve mentioned him before, how cool both he and his family are. They’re outside now, on the slip and slide. Oh wait, they’ve unplugged it (and put it away? who are these kids??) and now have the backyard hose going down the slide on the playset. Can you say mess? And cost? But I won’t stop them for a million dollars. They are smiling, having a blast, and being creative. Who can fault that??

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3 Responses to "Mom, I Have No Friends!"

My youngest has epilepsy and autistic traits,speach is getting better he lost ability to talk after a bad seizure..speach therapist says his social skills need working on.he prefers adults to children which is making it harder on him bless him.

Ouch – I file that under some people suck, or better yet, most people suck. It’s nice that there is one boy who is really cool-proof that they do exist. Are there any activities in your area that are more accepting? I’m wondering about Boy Scouts eventually and if they are accommodating? I guess it would depend on who was running the group.

My youngest has epilepsy and autistic traits,speach is getting better he lost ability to talk after a bad seizure..speach therapist says his social skills need working on.he prefers adults to children which is making it harder on him bless him.;. All the best!!

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