Autism Watch: 2007

Group Bullying?

Posted on: September 16, 2008

I picked up ds early from school to head to his regularly scheduled neurologist appointment. As we pull onto the carpool lane of the freeway, he begins to tell me a story that made me want to turn around and head back to the school…except I couldn’t, a neuro appt in a land far, far away awaited.

As close as I can understand, a group of ’20’ (maybe exaggerated in his head? maybe not?) kids put their hands over his eyes, covered his mouth so he couldn’t yell, and grabbed his arms, pulling him into the bathroom. He yelled to his friends, yet they did nothing. (He only has a few friends he plays with repeatedly, mainly one anymore, so this doesn’t surprise me.) He pulled away long enough to ask why he was there, and to let him leave, and they said “No, you’re in jail.” He breaks away again, gets out, and they try to re-catch him. He runs outside to the playground area, just running anywhere to get away, and two friends see him. Now, it must look fun, because they joined in to help him get away. They almost had him again, but when he ran far enough and his little friends were persistent, they left him alone. On a bad note, he doesn’t know who any of the kids are but one. On a good note, he doesn’t know who any of the kids are but one — which means they at least aren’t from his class.

Tonight is Back to School night. We will be setting up an appointment to meet with Admin in the morning. When he said “they took me into the bathroom,” I had to find a calm, discreet way to ask him where they touched him. I had to ask him if they ever used his name, to see if it appeared random. And I had to ask if he told anyone. He did, a playground proctor, and her words, per ds? “Poor kid.” Period. Nothing else was done.

But something else will be done. My son was dragged into a bathroom with strangers, against his will. Big deal or no, depending on who you are and how you look at it, he was taken somewhere against his will, people touched him, and he has no way of knowing if they’ll do it again. And no one did anything?

Mom’s unleashed. Admin will step in, I’m sure, we are blessed with a good team who truly care about ds, but he’s only in second grade. And I never heard of a group bullying incident like this.

I’ll update tonight, or tomorrow, depending on when I have anything to update with. Think happy thoughts.

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7 Responses to "Group Bullying?"

I have no words. I literally feel sick from reading this. This is totally unforgivable and horrible. I hope your Admin lives up to your confidence in them. I can only imagine your grief/horror/anger about this. Awful.

Please keep us posted.

Oh, dear God, this is the kind of thing I worry about. I so hope you get some answers. When I was reading it, it sounded junior high-ish. How is it that 2nd graders have the freedom and unsupervision (is that even a word???) to pull something like this off? I’d have some serious questions for the team about how something like this could happen with adults who are supposed to be in control. It sounds like they were all out to lunch.

Will be anxiously awaiting your next post!

I am not even going to start because this made me sick the moment I read it. I so totally find it hard to believe that this could happen and nobody do anything. I hope your Admi is as good as you say they are because this problem would have me shouting at the top of my lungs in the office the next morning. But that is just me – very confrontational.

Good luck and looking forward to an update to see where it goes from here.

Hi there,

I just wanted to check in and see how today went for you and your boy. I’ve been thinking about it…

As Krystal said, above, I too would have been in the principal’s office the next morning, shouting and demanding some answers. But that’s just me. Nobody messes with my boy. We had a bullying incident on the bus in first grade, and it took a few weeks to narrow down where & when the bullying was happening (because he was acting out at school & home but not telling us what was happening.) Thank goodness your son was able to tell you what happened! Your situation just makes my stomach do flip-flops. I’ll pray you get through to the admin and get quick answers!

Imagine if your son grew up with parents which were more concerned about what others thought about them than about their son.

That would mean your son would know better than to confide in you, because if he did, he would be told something like, “What annoying thing did you do now to cause others to want to drag you into the bathroom?!”

I say, “Thank God your son was able to tell you what happened AND that he wanted to tell you.”

That is so wrong of the bullies! Fid out who they are and I will beat there ass!

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