Autism Watch: 2007

Please stop yelling!

Posted on: January 12, 2008

No, not you. My son. Sorry, I’ve said it so often lately, it just comes out at random times now. I probably yell it in my sleep.

The last week has been a week of increased temper tantrums and meltdowns. All I have to do is say meltdown, and anyone with an autistic child understands, so enough said.

So what to do?

New autism program is working, but maybe we’re not doing enough. New supplements needed? Social skills training?

This past week, ds had testing at his karate class, to see if he could earn his yellow belt. Talk about painful. Other parents are laughing because a cute little boy was pirouetting (word?) between blocks and kicks, pulling at his upper lip and rubbing his hair and face every movement. They didn’t know they were laughing at a little boy in his own world, completely lacking focus and only listening enough to knock out the move and go back to his internal choreography. Dh blows it off, but I don’t want to hear him laughed at, even if I know they weren’t laughing to be malicious. Today, ds and I attended a birthday party for a wonderfully sweet and compassionate classmate of my son’s. Ds had a meltdown, and parents of children not as old as ds witnessed it. Sigh. So hard. Ds was on the floor and against the wall, in full pout-and-crossed-arms-yelling mode, and I was trying to calm him in front of 20+ other people. Thank God, birthday boy’s mom is one of the rare few who doesn’t judge; she helped me out but an understanding mom, not a lot of sleep and another social event where he stands out, in a negative manner, made me tear-y. So now you have Meltdown Boy and Emotional Mom.

Ever have one of those days?

We also went to Disneyland again on Wednesday evening, for dd’s birthday. The big 13. California Adventure closes early during the week right now, so we visited there first to ride Tower of Terror. Ds loves it. (And our occupational therapist encouraged this type of ride, if he likes it.) A quick visit to Guest Services, dd had her happy birthday pin, and ds had his special guest assistance pass. We headed to Disneyland after the ride, and went on a number of rides in a short period of time. Lines were short, but given ds’s mood, we still used our pass because I’m not sure he could have done even the shorter lines. We used his stroller (a larger-sized jogging stroller), worth its weight (and cost) in gold.

We made ds’s orthopedist appointment. It’s several weeks from now, but we know the ortho. She dx’d ds (pre-autism dx) with pronated ankles and flat-feet. His orthotics didn’t work, and years later, he’s still got the leg pain and muscle weakness. We’ll see if the ortho can help us figure out why, and what to do.

And on a good note? Ds got his yellow belt! He passed! All in all, very busy week for a little guy that’s easily overstimulated. And I wonder why he’s having such anger issues.


8 Responses to "Please stop yelling!"

Right there with you on the meltdown front dearie. Very impressed with the yellow belt that takes a tremendous amount of control
Best wishes

As Maddy said, I’m right there, too. Meltdown after meltdown. Tears, tantrums and frustration. It’s so hard, huh

I’m happy for your ds that he got his belt, though.That’s awesome!

I googled Autism, stop yelling…. and found this page. I read your stories and just hearing that their’s another parent out there that understands is wonderfully relieveing…..your my new hero and hero’s of the day. πŸ™‚ My situation is a bit different though,…Im a single Father, my daughter just turned 9. I’m coming up on a verrry difficult stage in her life and our relationship. When I say, single dad, I dont mean…I have my kids on the weekends…lol. I have them 24-7 everyday. My son is 7 and he also has Autism. When my beautiful daughter Samantha or Sam, was diagnosed at age 2 with Autism,…it broke both of hearts. And we where sooo in love. Picture perfect california-surfer white couple. I was in denial for along time…but when I realized my perfect angel had something wrong, it took my already fragile heart and snapped it in two. Cause she never got better she got sooo much worse. It was like watching her slowly die in front of me everyday. And in a slightly morbid but very true way,…thats exactly what happened. My daughter is on the severe Autism spectrum….diapers still, ..doesnt speak,..cant handle social situations,….and thats the nice sweet version. She was actually written up today for taking her clothes off on the bus and urinating. This is my reality. I as a man don’t know what to do and the screaming tantrums and the buttons on the T.v and all the …..everything, is hard….my family pretty much doesnt exist. The mother took a little longer to realize the reality, but it slowly broke us both…….she turned to drugs and alcohol eventually and to some degreees so did I. Mine where tobacco and pot,….hers where alcohol and meth….big difference..and a loooong story short she left after or son was 8months old. I thought he was ok…..he was diagnosed at 5 with high functioning Autism,….he’s normal except for his communication and social skills. Im sorry to make this so short but it’s 6pm so I gotta make dinner and you know…run in circles til midnight. But I enjoyed reading your stories and in a way….just really love all of you….lol πŸ™‚ Ok where’s my cape….time to fly.

Wow, really, I do hope you found your cape! My first thought is that your children are SO lucky to have you. Loving our children comes naturally, but rising to the occasion of handling them when they present challenges doesn’t. My husband went into major denial, but came beyond it and is now my son’s hugest advocate..aside from me, of course! πŸ˜‰ I do hope you’re able to get services to help, and some respite? I hope you come back and post again. I need to update today, this last week has been a whirlwind of appointments and issues, including BB’s neuro appointment and new meds for his migraines. Always something, right? Look forward to talking to you more!

OMG..I know..I was so happy to find this on here. I can barely type through my tears. My son has his terrible meltdowns and tantrums too. He is exhibitionist as well he will take off his clothes and run free in front of others. He is non verbal and also has pica. He puts everything and anything in his mouth and its so disturbing to watch. I have another boy who is 10 J man is 4 and I have one on the way. My husband and I love each other very much but I honestly can say that this has put a rip in our relationship. J man is getting worse and I don’t know what to do with the screaming. ITS ALL THE TIME. No matter how I try to hug and kiss him or be nice to him or look him in the eye and try to speak to him, ITS ALL THE TIME. My husband I think is going to leave me. I am at a loss. I am so thankful though that you guys understand. I have no one here not even my family understands. Thank you for a smidgen of hope.

The screaming is insane, I know. I wish there were a solution,

Chris — I’m a single dad of a 32-year-old severely autistic young man, and, man, I know what you’re going through. We ARE going through hell, for sure, and nobody seems to know how to help us. I know first-hand how autism can break your soul–big time. You feel like killing yourself. I can’t offer much in terms of solutions, but I just wanted you to know that there are others out there who are riding that Hell train just as you are. My email is is you want to drop me a line. I live in Santa Clarita, CA.

These stories bring me to tears. I have been a behavior therapist for many years now working both in- homes and schools. I cannot imagine how hard it is. I see parents everyday looking exhausted, most not being able to sleep through a solid night in month..years. You all show tremendous love an are incredibly exceptional people. As my coworkers would agree, we all appreciate all the 24/7 work and love you put in to your kids. It really makes a difference in their lives. Not just their daily skills/ routines but in their HAPPINESS! I pray that things get easier for you and your families and that there is more awareness and less staring/ judging.

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